It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
