That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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