flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
