ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
