Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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