her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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