Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
