Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
