Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
