Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
