It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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