You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
