i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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