you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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