I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
