Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
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