I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
