It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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