I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
