I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need to calm my uterus...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
