it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
