she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
