I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
