Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
