I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
