took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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