Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
