He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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