Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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