So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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