His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
