defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
