I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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