maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
