just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
