There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
