I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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