And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize