im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
