I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize