This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
