I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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