i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
