I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
