Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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