Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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