At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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