We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
