Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
