She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Holy shit dude........stairs
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
