"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
