you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
