I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
