My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize