I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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