So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
