For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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