well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
