I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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