omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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