if i can run in heels then i can drive
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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