do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
