addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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