i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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