Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I need to align my fucking chakras
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
