he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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