How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
