I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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