Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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