I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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