You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
